I sat on a couch holding the hand of a drunkard. No music played, someone apparently had figured out how to turn off all the electricity in the house in an attempt to set the mood for the eminent 12 o'clock sloppy make out seshes that loomed in the near future. I looked around and I laughed. Is this how the mormons felt at every party? I was sober on New Year's Eve... still recovering from a sleepless night after my debutante ball.. Glad I came into society with such poise and grace.... People rolled around on the ground together, unable to get up. Oooops. another thong spotted... I suppose I will help them up.
Being sober around black out drunk people is probably the biggest ego boost I've had since Rick Mohney said I had a brilliant comment regaurding john keats (the most depressed person on the face of the earth, glad I understand him so well... he and sylvitha plath... Hi, i'm president of the virginia wolf fan club. Alanis Morrisette and I are the only members. We meet at panera thursdays at 5 if you would like to join. Wait, why is the entire world always at panera. So see and be seen. the food isn't even that good.. just me? too bad they know me by name there now... my panera card is getting worn down... hi tangent of the year, back to my blog..) about a month ago. Seriously though, why is it that girls I've never met before suddenly find me beautiful and love me when they are intoxicated... I mean, it's flattering but is the majority of LC's females closet lesbians? Not that i'm judging. We all remember the embarassing sophomore year stunt where all my friends and I coined names that suggested less than heterosexuality... Hi, I'm Jamie.
Everyone around was making shallow connections... But were they shallow? It seems when you are drunk you truly let go of the projection you are attempting to show others and are able to be flawed. Too bad the instant anyone is sober they dismiss this vunerability as being "SOOOOOOO DRUNK" and apologize to every single person they met... I love how people do this via wall posting... that way anyone who even saw someone stepping out of their box and meeting someone new will also recognize that being outgoing for five minutes was a severe embarassing moment and an error in judgement. It makes me lawlzy.
New Year's struck. While others started off the new year on the verge of unconsciousness licking the faces of people they barely knew (whoever started this tradition ought to be shot.... starting off a year like this is depressing...January 1 tops any awkward Monday) I assisted a good friend get out of the parents bed and find their clothes. When I host the best friend awards in June, I am self nominating myself. But this was just the beginning. The friend who was barely conscious suddenly found a second wind as soon as they were dressed and began to violently run through the party....Anyone who knows me even mildly well knows I am incapable of running... Why do you think I played softball....
After finally chasing down the forest gump esque drunk, I had a lovely conversation with the parents who just arrived home. Wonderful people. Truly. They hadn't seen the broken window yet. Jambs. The first car of people was taken home. One ride down, several to go.
Back around for round two. Spotted: someone belligerent attempting to stick their keys into a car that doesn't belong to them. Later, they actually got into a car that was not their own because the neighbor left it unlocked. Epic.
The night ended with one final crying phone call for a 3 am ride. Somebody's mom was going to kill them. How often do we as teenagers insinuate our parents are cold blooded murderers? If half the stuff we said was taken literally, most of my friends mom's would put good old Capone to shame. Not to mention how many friends of mine would be dead, because let's face it.. High School is "suicidal".
"Suicidal" yes, but hilarious also. It is because of this that I have decided to start writing a blog. Life is too funny not to properly document.... Not that starting a blog entitled the "jambo nucleus" is really proper documentation at this point... but in a world where most people have intimate conversations over facebook chat, it's the best I can do. It is my resolution to start documenting life. I thought about working out, but felt it was cliche and I have bronchitis.
Better get started on my mohney homework. My facebook status lied. I actually do have homework.
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