Sunday Paralysis

I feel like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations right now...

Okay, its been less than 35 years since I last moved at all, but my Sunday ritual of crusting in bed certainly makes me lose track of time and considering the fact I'm still wearing the shirt I wore last night.... I'm on my way to never moving again and wearing the same outfit for the rest of my life.
Kidding.

Anyway, I've never even seen Great Expectations, just the Sassy Gay Friend of it on youtube.
So don't go thinking I'm all well read or am motivated enough to actually rent a movie...

Renting a movie would require getting out of bed, finding my keys, forgetting my dignity and the social norms of the environment I take part in and eventually leaving the house in sweats, offensive make up, and sporting hair that was popularized by homeless, toothless, peasants of mid-evil England...

Instead, I choose to sit in bed and wonder when crusting not only became a verb, but also an intengral part of the binding routine I call life....

Sundays used to be busy. I had a job, I taught a confirmation class, I did homework....
I most likely had an ASB lunch, and was already preparing mentally for Monday's officer meeting for Y and G. Many Sundays, I had debutantes. Oh wait... and I used to play softball?

Oh, how things have changed. The FUNNIEST part of this whole realization that I've basically become a certifiable vegetable on Sundays, hiding like anne frank or a heliophobic in my room.... is that I finally understand Senioritis. I have got the plague.

Now listen up all you youngsters.... You haven't got senioritis. You may think you do... But you don't. I say this because I was that loud mouthed kid who claimed they had senioritis from about mid-sophmore year on...
But you don't have senioritis if you are still doing things to try to get you out of La Canada.
If you still have extra-cirrics, an SAT tutor, a sport, and the motivation to move before noon on Sunday, you haven't been infected. DBAS. (dream big all-star).

Senioritis... it's more than being ready to leave. We've all been ready to leave since the day we realized the UA has a rodent problem, lice infected seats, and that the "cop" who patrols the theater on Friday nights, doesn't actually have any authority.. I doubt any 8th graders are reading this, but if on the off chance I've picked up a younger audience... SCREW THAT FOE-COP.... And stop lying to your parents.... If you are walking down to burger king/sitting at Starbucks for the duration of a movie to talk about drama or hang out with guys....  just tell them... they won't care.... I spent too much of my life holding on to movie tickets stubs just in case my mom asked for them...  checking movie synopsizes on the original iphone....  BECAUSE I WAS SO SKETCHY SITTING AT STARBUCKS with my friends?  Mom, I know you read my blog... So I take this moment here and now to apologize for lying about going to starbucks/rice garden. Hope you aren't TOO mad.

Wow, that whole little rant made me pretty nostalgic for 8th grade. Nothing like racoon-eyes and not knowing how to use eye-liner.... Nothing like daily fraps and taco deli nachos and remaining relatively thin... Nothing like the beeline on Fridays... WHO REMEMBERS WHEN THE LCF SHUTTLLE BROKE DOWN ON MICHIGAN HILL? WHO REMEMBERS WHEN BUSHMAN GOT HIT BY A MOM TALKING ON HER CELLPHONE? WHO REMEMBERS ROUTINE PHOTOSHOOTS AT MEMORIAL PARK WHILE THE BOYS SKATED... WHO REMEMBERS WHEN KB AND JM GOT IN A FIGHT AT MEMORIAL? WHO REMEMBERS THE Y DANCE WHERE THERE WAS A ROSEMONT VS LC GIRL FIGHT? (okay one attempt at a punch was made... doesn't constitute a girl fight, but the memory remains epic either way...) WHO REMEMBERS HOLLISTER/ABERCROMBIE TANKS IN EVERY COLOR... WHO REMEMBERS IDOLIZING THE CAST OF THE OC/LAGUNA BEACH/ EVERYONE KNEW NEWPORT HARBOR WAS A FAIL. WHO REMEMBERS MYSPACE? LiZzIe'ZZZZ PAGE. Hi :) I'm lizzie, I blow out my candles on july 9. :) I hate drama. I love my friends. I'm super chill, so if you want to get to know me... leave a comment :) (insert artsy picture from photobucket now.) COMMENTS? NAH BITCH, WE WALL TO WALL NOW.

Hopefully... I'm not the only one who remembers....
Wait, what the hell was I originally talking about... Hi I have ADHD, nice to meet you? No, I won't sell you adderol, asshole.

So back to Senioritis. Trust me, juniors who swear they DGAF and aren't going to study for AP exams.... You don't have it. Sophomore girls whose friend group has so much drama they SWEAR they are ready to move on, you aren't infected. And to the sketch freshman who have drank already... YOU DON'T HAVE SENIORITIS EITHER.

You just don't.
That's all for now. 
I have some very important crusting to attend to.

Chinese Class at Community College

Community the tv show cuts way too close to home. 

As I have recently begun taking Mandarin 1 at PCC, I realize that "Community" is a bit more accurate than we would all like to think. 

Even if I tried, (which I have), I couldn't possibly think of a more random group of people compiled into room 201 every monday and wednesday from 330 to 610. 


There's the only black guy in the class.
He brings a laptop and sits in the front... 
One time, while discussing envelope colors and their meaning in China... he said "what about black envelopes?"
The teacher had no choice but to tell him black envelopes didn't exist in China. To this day, I am sure he was severely offended. 


For those of you who watch Community, there are two men that resemble Pierce. Old white conservatives who ask too many questions are convinced that every component of the Chinese language has a perfectly analogous relationship to a component of English. They cannot understand anything unless it is related to something American. These two men always sit next to the black guy I mentioned before. It's pretty funny. 


Naturally,  there are two Korean girls that have deemed themselves smart and interesting enough to tell us every time we learn something in Mandarin, the word , phrase, character, or structure of the particular item in Korean. I'm not MGA, I don't care about Korean. I hate these girls. 
These girls also have these weirdo bag hooks that they pull out of their backpacks and put at the corner of their desks so their all cliched hello kitty backpacks do not have to touch the miserable class room floor. It really weirds me out and I spent much too long of my last class thinking about how stupid their bag hooks are. 
ALSO.... 
they won't go into the bathroom which has multiple stalls if anyone else is in it. they will wait outside until the bathroom is completely empty.
they are either doing cocaine or have the worst performance anxiety known to man. 
The KG's (korean girls) are not to be trusted.


Next, come the three best friends that anyone could have... 
they all dress similarly kind of like 1980's punkish and are awkwardly probably the smartest people in the class.  the teacher cannot keep them apart even though they are all of different races and names begin with the sounds da, st, and ri.
They aren't chinese which pisses me off. 
I don't know why they get Chinese so easily. 

Maybe they are scamming the system, much like the fluent chinese girl who sat by me last class and read an entire novel written entirely in mandarin during last weeks class. I found this extremely unfair. I'm pretty sure she told the teacher she was Japanese, not Chinese the first week to stay in the class and has feigned ignorance ever since..... I am so curious about this girl, I wonder if she purposefully misses a few answers on quizzes here and there to maintain her cover.... It almost seems more exhausting to pretend you don't know something than take a class you actually know nothing about. 
I will continue to watch this fluent speaker. 


There a few other characters I must mention to complete the cast. 

Of course there is the teacher, her English is hilarious but her good sense of humor keeps us motivated. think if the movie freedom writers had jim carrey, not hilary swank as the teacher. 

there is a girl that the teacher pretends she knows and always uses as the example. i'm pretty sure this girl doesn't know the teacher and feels uncomfortable most of the time in class.

There is the awkward trio that sits in front. A chubby mom with Christina Augliera high lights  circa 1999, an anorexic theater major, and asian good will hunting. Asian good will hunting takes his notes in a leather bound journal and always wears a suit. He has trendy glasses and has worn a scarf on more than one occassion. 

The past two classes I've sat next to the same kid. I guess we are "friends"? I am truly unsure of how to meet people at this point but he seems cool enough..... I of course, can no longer get close enough to anyone in my class at this point because this blog posting is a bit... "too soon" to be read by my classmates. 
hhaahaha.. 

OH AND FINALLY. THIS POST WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT MENTIONING STAR BURNS. 
I have attached a picture of Starburns from community so everyone can chuckle together... 

bahahaha. This guy is hilarious and by hilarious I mean horribly annoying and makes me question every class "is this real life?".  He has obviously spent a ton of time in china town... he is a bit chubberooosks, wears a nightmare before christmas sweater every class, a fedora and has weirrrrrrd facial hair. One of the few words he knows is "pigio" meaning beer. So whenever we learn a new phrase such as 

"I like" 
"I want"
"I drink"
"I need" 
"I love"
"I only talk about"
"has ruined my social skills"


you bet he raises his hand and volunteers the word beer. 
I'm tempted to bring him a 12 pack soon and tell him we got the picture and to never utter the word pigio again. I truly might do that. 


Of course, with all these people watching... 
I've learned about one thing in Mandarin so far. 
It is this. 
Pigio=beer. 
Damn you star burns.