Chinese Class at Community College

Community the tv show cuts way too close to home. 

As I have recently begun taking Mandarin 1 at PCC, I realize that "Community" is a bit more accurate than we would all like to think. 

Even if I tried, (which I have), I couldn't possibly think of a more random group of people compiled into room 201 every monday and wednesday from 330 to 610. 


There's the only black guy in the class.
He brings a laptop and sits in the front... 
One time, while discussing envelope colors and their meaning in China... he said "what about black envelopes?"
The teacher had no choice but to tell him black envelopes didn't exist in China. To this day, I am sure he was severely offended. 


For those of you who watch Community, there are two men that resemble Pierce. Old white conservatives who ask too many questions are convinced that every component of the Chinese language has a perfectly analogous relationship to a component of English. They cannot understand anything unless it is related to something American. These two men always sit next to the black guy I mentioned before. It's pretty funny. 


Naturally,  there are two Korean girls that have deemed themselves smart and interesting enough to tell us every time we learn something in Mandarin, the word , phrase, character, or structure of the particular item in Korean. I'm not MGA, I don't care about Korean. I hate these girls. 
These girls also have these weirdo bag hooks that they pull out of their backpacks and put at the corner of their desks so their all cliched hello kitty backpacks do not have to touch the miserable class room floor. It really weirds me out and I spent much too long of my last class thinking about how stupid their bag hooks are. 
ALSO.... 
they won't go into the bathroom which has multiple stalls if anyone else is in it. they will wait outside until the bathroom is completely empty.
they are either doing cocaine or have the worst performance anxiety known to man. 
The KG's (korean girls) are not to be trusted.


Next, come the three best friends that anyone could have... 
they all dress similarly kind of like 1980's punkish and are awkwardly probably the smartest people in the class.  the teacher cannot keep them apart even though they are all of different races and names begin with the sounds da, st, and ri.
They aren't chinese which pisses me off. 
I don't know why they get Chinese so easily. 

Maybe they are scamming the system, much like the fluent chinese girl who sat by me last class and read an entire novel written entirely in mandarin during last weeks class. I found this extremely unfair. I'm pretty sure she told the teacher she was Japanese, not Chinese the first week to stay in the class and has feigned ignorance ever since..... I am so curious about this girl, I wonder if she purposefully misses a few answers on quizzes here and there to maintain her cover.... It almost seems more exhausting to pretend you don't know something than take a class you actually know nothing about. 
I will continue to watch this fluent speaker. 


There a few other characters I must mention to complete the cast. 

Of course there is the teacher, her English is hilarious but her good sense of humor keeps us motivated. think if the movie freedom writers had jim carrey, not hilary swank as the teacher. 

there is a girl that the teacher pretends she knows and always uses as the example. i'm pretty sure this girl doesn't know the teacher and feels uncomfortable most of the time in class.

There is the awkward trio that sits in front. A chubby mom with Christina Augliera high lights  circa 1999, an anorexic theater major, and asian good will hunting. Asian good will hunting takes his notes in a leather bound journal and always wears a suit. He has trendy glasses and has worn a scarf on more than one occassion. 

The past two classes I've sat next to the same kid. I guess we are "friends"? I am truly unsure of how to meet people at this point but he seems cool enough..... I of course, can no longer get close enough to anyone in my class at this point because this blog posting is a bit... "too soon" to be read by my classmates. 
hhaahaha.. 

OH AND FINALLY. THIS POST WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT MENTIONING STAR BURNS. 
I have attached a picture of Starburns from community so everyone can chuckle together... 

bahahaha. This guy is hilarious and by hilarious I mean horribly annoying and makes me question every class "is this real life?".  He has obviously spent a ton of time in china town... he is a bit chubberooosks, wears a nightmare before christmas sweater every class, a fedora and has weirrrrrrd facial hair. One of the few words he knows is "pigio" meaning beer. So whenever we learn a new phrase such as 

"I like" 
"I want"
"I drink"
"I need" 
"I love"
"I only talk about"
"has ruined my social skills"


you bet he raises his hand and volunteers the word beer. 
I'm tempted to bring him a 12 pack soon and tell him we got the picture and to never utter the word pigio again. I truly might do that. 


Of course, with all these people watching... 
I've learned about one thing in Mandarin so far. 
It is this. 
Pigio=beer. 
Damn you star burns.