Sorry I'm Not Sorry

I know we've all been in the kind of mood where you just say... wow... music today sucks. I'm in that kind of mood right now, so let me take off my fingerless gloves, my beanie, and put down the stog and starbucks I'm holding so I can properly bitch about society. Ugh wait, these ivy colored cords are making me itch too. brb. 

yup, those were attempts at "hipster" jokes. 

(low key going to coachella... I'm qualified to make this kind of social commentary. NO BIG DEAL. LAWLLZZZYYY. Hope people get my foe sense of entitlement...) 
 

Anyway, I'm driving in my car jammin to my ipod listening to Sittin On the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding. First of all, I would just like to say believe it or not, Otis and I may have the same soul. But really. Sittin on the Dock of the Bay is essentially a song all devoted to the act of crusting... 

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes....

Tell me those lyrics don't exemplify the crust. 

Anyway... so I'm jammin out with Otis and realizing we're soulmates and the next song that comes on is Down on Me. 

"Heard you go that sticky
Lets go and take 9 shots, we'll just call it fifty
And I'm gonna lick it, lick it, lick it
Till her hicky have her Rev running
Keep you running 'til you whimpy, bang, bang, bang, bang" 

Seeing those lyrics actually in front of you kinda makes you go... oh wow Jermih... you are an effing idiot. Is it me or is the phrase, heard you go that sticky just plain offensive? No one really knows how to cope... and Lets go and take 9 shots, we'll just call it fifty? dude... you can't do that.. and does anyone else think its low key kind of bitch drinking to associate 9 shots to 50? LIKE ITS FIFTY. Does Jermih really get that trashed off 9 shots that he calls it fifty? I mean 9 shots is a lot to drink... but you're a freaking rapper... I thought you chased coke lines with four lokos (the originals, not the new ones that took out the little shot of crack at the bottom...). IDK. Just a bit disappointing. I'm not sure I would party with Jermih. Especially because he randomly ends verses with the words bang, bang, bang, bang when he can't think of anything else... loser. 

Another song that just gets me every time is Enrique's "Tonight I'm Fucking You".... Like are you kidding? What a great rhetorician you are... 

Here’s the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody’s ever made me feel the way that you do
You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse I don’t mean to be rude

But tonight I’m fucking you
Oh you know
That tonight I’m fucking you
Oh you know
That tonight I’m fucking you

Is it just me... or is there no ruder words than But tonight I'm fucking you. Uhm.... Hello? Imagine this scene is going down in "da club" or where ever the hell these thugs party... like Hey, you know my motivation... given uh my scummy reputation.... please excuse, I mean, I really don't mean to be rude but... TONIGHT I'M FUCKING YOU. Like what does that even mean? Like no matter what he's going to get in her pants? Dead or Alive? Roofied or just drunk? Dude. Enrique, you're a MF (mothafu....) RAPIST. Mom, pick me up... and then pick up Enrique.. we're bringing him back to Mexico. Society wasn't ready. 

My hating isn't limited to just men. I mean, hellooooo Katy Perry... Do you ever feel... Like a plastic bag?... No... I actually don't. Firework was on one of the cds in my car for a while, IT'S JUST SO DAMN CATCHY.  But the beginning gets me every time. 

But with all these big ole dummies gracing the top ten charts of itunes.... How can we even poke fun at Rebecca Black? Yes.... "Friday" was a bit extreme... But was it that much worse than admitting sometimes you feel like a plastic bag? Or that you know, tonight I'm fucking you?

If we really need to mock someone as a whole... Its gotta be this girl.... 

This video changed my life, and made me realize... anyone... can be famous. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DwT_2QQU64&feature=player_embedded

If you've got a minute. watch it.

Now, I've gotta run... using all those lyrics sites gave me about 1,000 pop up windows to close, most of which are making noises... the combination of the pop up sounds and "My Jeans" is making me feel... well... like I did this morning... Jambs.